(Shallow) Disappointment

So I just realized that even after my tax return I am not going to have enough money to go shopping, I may even have to cancel my hair cut. I have not had a real hair cut since before my wedding… how awesome is that? (Does the sarcasm reach you?)

Anyway, so I just don’t like not having the cash to be able to do the things I want. It feels like I am always working… always. It is really beginning to make be depressed (again). I have to realize that part of this feeling today, is because I was bouncing off the walls yesterday. And the beauty of bi-polar is that the up is always followed by the down… the higher you go the harder the fall.

The part I don’t get is that Josh said he wanted me to go shopping, but then was not exactly careful about the money. Of my last check, I was not involved, benefited, or asked about where 67% of that money went… and 33% went to things for the both of us, like NIN tickets and groceries. And the tax return is apparently all gone, ugh… I don’t feel like starting a fight about it. It’s a long weekend and I want to enjoy it.

I am just really tired of being broke, or just barely making it. I would really enjoy getting just one new outfit or a nice hair cut, something fun that will make me feel pretty for 5 minutes. Is that so much to ask? I work 8 hours a day in a stupid place I don’t even like. The company fucks my over hard-core, frequently… but can’t even go shopping once in a blue fucking moon, or get my hair cut once every two years.

… oh well. We’ll see how things go when Josh is working again.